Well,
having been someone who has broken a few promises in her life, I can say with
confidence that for the one who does the breaking... not a whole lot
happens...initially. They move on, assumedly free from repercussions. Depending
on the situation, there may be some guilty feelings accompanying the break, but
ultimately, I've found promise breakers move on rather quickly.
But,
having been the one on the receiving end of broken promises, I can tell you
that the repercussions are deep, penetrating and painful. Beyond the possible
physical 'inconveniences' that may accompany a broken promise, there are
emotional ones too. Someone you counted on let you down. Ouch. That doesn't
heal easily. Trust and integrity were compromised, and those two character
traits don't bounce back with the two words, "I'm sorry".
We've all
been there, at some point, haven't we? We've given our word, and for any number
of excuses, have fallen short in following through. Ah, yes, but we have also
all been on the receiving end of a broken promise. It hurts, doesn't it?
This is a
recent experience of mine...three times over. In the last year, I have had
three 'friends' make some important promises to me and all three of them broke
them. Each time, it felt like they were saying, "You're not worth keeping
my word for". It's surprising how quickly we want to accept the blame for
other's mistakes, and make it about ourselves. But you can relate to the
feelings... it hurts to have people let you down. What I want to focus on
though is their responses to them breaking their word. Each of them responded
very differently.
The first friend tried to change what the promise initially meant. "What I meant was .... , so I didn't actually really break it. No, I know that we both agreed beforehand, but...". There was an inability or unwillingness to face the truth that they didn't/couldn't follow through on their word.
The
second friend and I lost contact for three months because of the unfulfilled
words... until just this last week, when my friend showed up to apologize, take
ownership, and attempted to follow through on promises as much as they were
able to with what they had. A broken situation was redeemed because they were
able to humble themselves, and make things right, even though it cost this person.
Making things right was inconvenient, costly and difficult. But I am SO proud
of my friend for setting this example for me. It's never too late to set things
straight.
The third
friend seems to have walked away guilt free, saying that the promises were made
prematurely, and thus implying that no follow through was required.
All three of them gave me their word, and broke it, but their responses to the
situation look completely different. As a result of their broken promises, my
trust of them, and their integrity in my eyes was severely compromised.
But I
wonder, what happens when you break a promise as it relates to your
relationship to God? Does He care? He knows we’re human, but as believers, are
we called to a higher account with our word? As believers, when we keep our
word, we are being an example of God to others. God always keeps His word - He
is always faithful. Our word matters. But {how} does not keeping your word
affect your relationship with God?
I’ve been
doing some reading about the importance of keeping your word. And I’ve come
upon some very interesting views. Some people say it’s a sin to break a promise
and you will be held accountable for every unfulfilled word. Others say that
motive matters, and sometimes promises can’t be followed through on and that it’s
okay.
What do you think?
